"Aw, Miss Melnitz got herself an iPhone with voice dialin'," says Miss Eartha. "Somebody thought it'd be a good idea to use it to get himself on the Internet."

"He put an ad on Craigslist for engineering students," calls Ray, who's busy putting away his jacket. "Tried to get them to build him a giant robot body that he could control from a fishbowl."

"And it would've worked, too, if that so-called daughter of yours didn't spend twenty-four hours a day on the internet."