gone_byebye: (Riva)
Monday, October 1, 2007
Burger Lord Restaurant #4389



"Welcome to Burger Lord, home of the all-new twelve-piece teriyaki chicken nuggets Daimyo Meal," said Bill O'Connell, man at the drive-thru window, for the fifteenth time that day. "May I take your order, please?"

He'd gotten to the point where he didn't even have to hear the customers' full words to know what they were going to ask for, even the hesitant ones who wobbled back and forth on what they wanted and the really annoying ones who thought it was funny to ask for seventy-five dollars' worth of food at a single pass. He'd reached that point on day three. The crushing depression that set in when he realized that he'd come found his calling and it was in fast food had led him to pull a number of fairly stupid stunts in the hopes of getting fired. So far they hadn't, not even hacking his terminal so that he had Internet access beyond the Burger Lord corporate network. Just now he was seeing how many Youtube videos he could watch before getting a reprimand.

He clicked on one marked Chelsea Piers Kaiju Battle and started tapping in the customer's order. Then he actually looked at the screen.

The next customer had to lean on her horn to get his attention.




"Sir," said O'Connell to Alphonse Jannot, manager of Burger Lord Restaurant #4389, "there's something I really think you should see."

"If you're trying to get fired again, O'Connell, it's not going to happen," said Jannot. "Both of us are stuck in this hellhole until sweet, sweet death comes for us. Believe me-"

"Sir," said O'Connell urgently, "it's about the Ghostbusters."

Jannot froze.

"Dr. Stantz in particular."

"Shit," said Jannot under his breath. "What've they dug up now?"

"I, uh... it's not about us, sir. I don't think they even know we're still alive."

"Then why are you bothering me about it?" snapped Jannot. "Aren't things bad enough?"

"I kind of thought you should see it before you accidentally turned on a news program and burst a blood vessel or something, sir," said O'Connell. "I know you don't watch TV any more, but just in case."

Jannot paused. "How bad is it?" he asked warily.

"Well, ah..." O'Connell rubbed at the back of his neck. "Remember how the final tech assessment we had on them said that they had roughly enough firepower to take over the West African nation of their choice?"

"Yeeeees...."

"I feel safe in saying that that can be expanded to include the rest of the continent and pretty much any of the non-nuclear powers east of the Caucasus Mountains, sir."

Alphonse Jannot, manager of Burger Lord Restaurant #4389- and nothing but manager of Burger Lord Restaurant #4389- watched the video, and put his head in his hands, and wept.

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Raymond Stantz

February 2014

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