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Jul. 24th, 2006 09:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gone_byebyeRay meant to go upstairs and go straight to bed last night after talking with Ace. Really, he did. He got the first part of that done, or at least he started on it. It was just. . . well, halfway up the stairs it occurred to him that he'd just asked Ace for a ride in her TARDIS to somewhere far away to do something incredibly dangerous. Ace. Not Romana. No wonder the conversation felt so weird, he told himself and kept going. An outside observer would barely have noticed the tremor in his step.
Then he got to his room and opened the door. He'd started taking the larger room just after things got serious with Romana (to make it a little easier to keep his reference material around and not have her break an ankle- to give them both room, really). The colors were blue and brown and silver (she'd said she liked blue). The math he'd scribbled all over the walls after the drinking bout with Garion was sufficiently incomprehensible that he'd almost have to get someone like her in to have a look at it just to figure out what the heck it was-
He'd fulfilled his obligation to Eddie. He didn't have to stay. Bar wouldn't send him to the wrong universe if he went home now.
Back to Earth, then.
Right.
"Daddy, you're home!" The hearse's lights flared, the emergency flashers blinking gleefully on and off; Ecto fairly bounced on her tires. "How was Nevada?"
Ray smiled fondly, running one hand over her hood. "Hot, big, dry, and nasty," he answered frankly. "But I got my testing done."
"Did it work?"
"It worked great, kiddo. It worked just fine."
Ecto's horn gave a quiet little honk. "You're gonna tell me all about it, right?"
"Sure," Ray said. A motion caught the corner of his eye; he looked up, spotted Winston, and waved. "Just not tonight, okay? It's been a long day."
"Oh, no, tomorrow's good," Ecto assured him. "Uncle Egon read me a whole issue of Semiconductor Spintronics today. It was weird. Is quantum mechanics always that weird?"
"Just about, yeah," Ray said. "I can explain it to you in the morning."
"Okay!" said Ecto happily. "See you in the morning, Daddy!"
Ray smiled again and patted her on the driver's side door before heading up the stairs.
"Thought I might find you here," said Winston's voice as the door to the roof closed behind him. "You didn't sound like a man who was heading for bed."
Ray sighed, but didn't bother opening his eyes. "Sorry, Winston. I know I should, but I just don't think I'm going to get to sleep tonight."
There was a shifting sound and a small crunch as the other man sat down. "Kinda figured. You wanna talk about it?"
"Would it do any good?"
The texture of the silence suggested a shrug on Winston's part. "It might. You never know. What's up?"
Perspective. Consequence. Doing the impossible. Doing the incomprehensible. Getting what I always wanted out of science. Involvement in the fundamentals of existence.
"Romana."
Another specific kind of silence that might just as well have been a nod and an Ah…
"I haven't seen her or heard from her in months. I've got six or seven possible scenarios for why, and every single one of them is significantly more disturbing than the one before. I've been trying not to think about any of them."
"How bad are we talking here? I can't picture a woman like that running off with another guy."
Ray snorted. "No. Definitely not. She's not like that. That's the one thing I'm absolutely sure of. No, the scenarios start with 'her TARDIS malfunctioned and she's stuck somewhere in space and time that I can't even perceive, let alone reach', progress through 'she got killed and regenerated and doesn't remember me', go on to 'changed her mind about marrying outside her species and hasn't worked up the nerve to tell me yet', and end with 'died in the Time War and won't be regenerating or reincarnating ever again'."
". . . you're right. That's bad."
Ray opened his eyes and smiled wearily, glancing to Winston. "Yeah. See why I haven't been thinking about it?"
"Yeah." The other man shook his head. "Man, no wonder you've been doing so much in the lab. Trying to keep your mind off it, huh?"
". . . yeah."
Winston sighed. "Ray, if you were anybody else, I'd say forget it and move on." He held up his hands defensively as Ray shot him a Look. "I said if. I saw how you looked at her when you brought her to the Firehouse, Ray. I know better than that." He paused. "I'm not Peter."
Ray snorted, but his mouth twitched with a rueful sort of expression.
"He might be a psychologist, but he does not understand some things." Winston shook his head. "I don't know what to tell you, bro. All I know is, it's eating you up."
"What am I supposed to do, Winston?" Ray rubbed at his face with the heel of one hand. "I've never been in this situation before. It stinks. What am I supposed to do?"
"Dunno. Keep on doing what you're doing, I guess." Winston gave him a sidelong glance. "Just remember, we're a team. You need us for anything, we're here for you. Don't let it get you crazy. That's what we're here for."
He smiled a little at that. "Thanks, Winston."
"Any time, man."
Then he got to his room and opened the door. He'd started taking the larger room just after things got serious with Romana (to make it a little easier to keep his reference material around and not have her break an ankle- to give them both room, really). The colors were blue and brown and silver (she'd said she liked blue). The math he'd scribbled all over the walls after the drinking bout with Garion was sufficiently incomprehensible that he'd almost have to get someone like her in to have a look at it just to figure out what the heck it was-
He'd fulfilled his obligation to Eddie. He didn't have to stay. Bar wouldn't send him to the wrong universe if he went home now.
Back to Earth, then.
Right.
"Daddy, you're home!" The hearse's lights flared, the emergency flashers blinking gleefully on and off; Ecto fairly bounced on her tires. "How was Nevada?"
Ray smiled fondly, running one hand over her hood. "Hot, big, dry, and nasty," he answered frankly. "But I got my testing done."
"Did it work?"
"It worked great, kiddo. It worked just fine."
Ecto's horn gave a quiet little honk. "You're gonna tell me all about it, right?"
"Sure," Ray said. A motion caught the corner of his eye; he looked up, spotted Winston, and waved. "Just not tonight, okay? It's been a long day."
"Oh, no, tomorrow's good," Ecto assured him. "Uncle Egon read me a whole issue of Semiconductor Spintronics today. It was weird. Is quantum mechanics always that weird?"
"Just about, yeah," Ray said. "I can explain it to you in the morning."
"Okay!" said Ecto happily. "See you in the morning, Daddy!"
Ray smiled again and patted her on the driver's side door before heading up the stairs.
"Thought I might find you here," said Winston's voice as the door to the roof closed behind him. "You didn't sound like a man who was heading for bed."
Ray sighed, but didn't bother opening his eyes. "Sorry, Winston. I know I should, but I just don't think I'm going to get to sleep tonight."
There was a shifting sound and a small crunch as the other man sat down. "Kinda figured. You wanna talk about it?"
"Would it do any good?"
The texture of the silence suggested a shrug on Winston's part. "It might. You never know. What's up?"
Perspective. Consequence. Doing the impossible. Doing the incomprehensible. Getting what I always wanted out of science. Involvement in the fundamentals of existence.
"Romana."
Another specific kind of silence that might just as well have been a nod and an Ah…
"I haven't seen her or heard from her in months. I've got six or seven possible scenarios for why, and every single one of them is significantly more disturbing than the one before. I've been trying not to think about any of them."
"How bad are we talking here? I can't picture a woman like that running off with another guy."
Ray snorted. "No. Definitely not. She's not like that. That's the one thing I'm absolutely sure of. No, the scenarios start with 'her TARDIS malfunctioned and she's stuck somewhere in space and time that I can't even perceive, let alone reach', progress through 'she got killed and regenerated and doesn't remember me', go on to 'changed her mind about marrying outside her species and hasn't worked up the nerve to tell me yet', and end with 'died in the Time War and won't be regenerating or reincarnating ever again'."
". . . you're right. That's bad."
Ray opened his eyes and smiled wearily, glancing to Winston. "Yeah. See why I haven't been thinking about it?"
"Yeah." The other man shook his head. "Man, no wonder you've been doing so much in the lab. Trying to keep your mind off it, huh?"
". . . yeah."
Winston sighed. "Ray, if you were anybody else, I'd say forget it and move on." He held up his hands defensively as Ray shot him a Look. "I said if. I saw how you looked at her when you brought her to the Firehouse, Ray. I know better than that." He paused. "I'm not Peter."
Ray snorted, but his mouth twitched with a rueful sort of expression.
"He might be a psychologist, but he does not understand some things." Winston shook his head. "I don't know what to tell you, bro. All I know is, it's eating you up."
"What am I supposed to do, Winston?" Ray rubbed at his face with the heel of one hand. "I've never been in this situation before. It stinks. What am I supposed to do?"
"Dunno. Keep on doing what you're doing, I guess." Winston gave him a sidelong glance. "Just remember, we're a team. You need us for anything, we're here for you. Don't let it get you crazy. That's what we're here for."
He smiled a little at that. "Thanks, Winston."
"Any time, man."
