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[gone_byebye]

Ray wound up spending quite a bit of time with Jhalak at Milliways, even going so far as to stay the night in his usual room since the little alien didn't seem to want to leave him. The walls of said room are still covered in insanely complex mathematics, as is the ceiling; it's the legacy of a bout of epic drunkenness a few years ago, when Ray and Garion celebrated a major accomplishment in Garion's world with an awful lot of beer. If Jhalak ever figures out the math, it's the background of a background for a possible theoretical structure for a type of hyperspace star drive.

Come the morning, though, he's got to get back to the New York State side of the door. "Jhalak?" he calls. "Are you ready to go, kiddo?"

Comments

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"Jhalak." "Kiddo." "Ready to go?" "That's right." "That's right." "That's right."

...we'll take that as a yes.

Especially accompanied by Jhalak taking up its customary perch on Ray's right shoulder.

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"All righty!" Ray says cheerfully, and heads out of the room. He'll stop to pay off his tab- he always does that- but then he's heading straight for the door.

The door opens onto an overcrowded, over-bright shop reminiscent of every major gas station chain across America. Ray entered Milliways through the door of a service station's quickie-mart this time, with intent to buy a pack of beef jerky. Only after the door closes behind him does he realize he's carrying five very curious and very active arms. "Now, behave yourself," he says, "and when we get outside, you can meet my daughter and play in the car, okay?"

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"Behave yourself," says fast(arm), somewhat impishly. "And when we get outside you can meet my daughter and play in the car," freckled(arm) contributes. "Behave yourself." "Okay." "Okay." "That's right."

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"Very good," Ray congratulates Jhalak, and heads for the front of the store. He pauses, blinks, and retreats a few paces to get a display of Valvoline products between himself and the man with the small but nonetheless visible knife.

"Now would be a good time to be quiet, Jhalak," he whispers, and hopes his current emotional state transfers itself to the little alien.

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"Quiet," whispers skinny(arm), clinging to his shoulder. "Quiet, quiet," agree the rest of them, and then-- wonder of wonders-- Jhalak actually shuts up.

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"Thank you."

The knife wielder doesn't appear to have noticed Ray and his companion, thankfully. Nor does the station owner, a balding man in his late fifties with an aggrieved expression. "Son," he says, "you really don't want to do this. Put that down, okay?"

"I warned you, old man-"

What follows is almost too fast for the human eye to follow. The owner starts to reach down towards the counter. The would-be robber lunges at him, and blood suddenly wells up like mad as the knife quite merrily punctures the man's chest wall. Unfortunately for the robber, this does not have quite the desired effect, as the owner looks down with a mildly disgruntled expression.

"Now, did I or did I not tell you not to do that?" he asks.

"Uh-"

And then the station owner erupts in fur before leaping across the counter and pinning the younger man to the floor.

... we might note that he's still got his work shirt and pants on over all of that.

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...he went fuzzy.

Do humans usually do that?

Three eyes focus intently on the shapechanging shopkeeper; one lifts to blink at Ray inquiringly. (The remaining arm is busy keeping Jhalak balanced on Ray's shoulder.)

[gone_byebye]

No, not really, which is why Ray is trying to stand still and instead is mostly vibrating with the effort of doing so. The would-be robber is screaming, but that may be because the station owner flipped him over, put a knee in his kidneys, and clapped something around both his wrists behind his back in less time than it takes most men to sneeze. As the screaming continues, one furry hand digs into overly tight pants pockets and extracts a cell phone. The owner flips it open and punches a speed-dial code in; a moment later he growls, "Carl? We got another moron. Come on in and pick him up, willya?"

As he finishes up the call ("Oh, and could you swing by my place and get a clean shirt from my wife?"), he looks over towards the back of the store, and spots Ray. His face is distinctly canine at this point, but the eyes are still mostly human- especially when he rolls them and lets out an exasperated sigh. "Aw, hell," he fairly snarls.

"Um," Ray says, ducking his head instinctively. "Sorry?"

"Whatever," says the furry fellow, waving one pawlike hand in the air. "Am I gonna have any more trouble about this?"

Ray glances sideways at his passenger, then back at the station owner. "Sir," he says, "I live with a flying booger that'll eat anything that isn't nailed down, a three-eyed fish named Blinky, and Peter Venkman. You'll notice my passenger here isn't exactly of a morphological type generally found in the wilds of Ulster County, either. And if you'll just look a little bit to your right you'll notice that my daughter is standing up in your parking lot and trying to get her father's attention by jumping around and waving both hands..."

The furry fellow looks out the window at the frantically signaling Ecto, who is, in fact, in 'bot form for a better chance at getting through to Ray. He turns and looks back at Ray.

There's a silence. Then: "Peter Venkman, huh?"

"Yep."

"All right," says the man, and the fur dwindles back down to nothing. "Can't ask for more than that. What the hell is that on your shoulder, anyway?"

"Jhalak? Introduce yourself to the nice- uh-"

"Werewolf, son, I don't much bother hiding it from people who've already seen."

"Okay. To the nice werewolf, then."

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"Jhalak," says Jhalak chirpily. "Werewolf?" "Introduce yourself to the nice--" "--werewolf, then." "A three-eyed fish named Blinky and Peter Venkman!" "Jhalak." "Jhalak." "That's right."



We'll pretend that was a coherent introduction.

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".... y'know, I'm not gonna ask for more than that," says the store owner. "You, uh... might wanna go outside, though. I mean, before the giant robot kicks something over."

"Oh, she'll be all right," Ray says, and turns towards the window. In Ameslan he signals Ecto! Transform! Be right there.

As the robot nods and folds herself back down into car shape, Ray turns back to the store owner. "How much do I owe you for the jerky?"

"$5.99," says the owner, and Ray pays it. "You paid at the pump for the gas, right?"

"Sure did."

"Great. Okay, then, thank you for stopping at Lupusville Texaco, and have a great day."

"You too, sir," says Ray, and waits until he's safely on the other side of the car to smack himself in the forehead.

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Jhalak pokes Ray's forehead gently, concerned.

"Okay?" asks fast(arm).

"Have a great day," freckled(arm) mimics in a burst of inspiration.

"Kiwifruits," suggests short(arm), to whom feeding one's mouth is the obvious solution to all manner of distress.

[gone_byebye]

"I'm okay, Jhalak," Ray says. "It's just that I've been to a town called Lupusville before, in another continuum. It was full of werewolves- people just like that guy who went furry on us. I didn't even think it might exist in this world, too."

"I guess I should've told you that, huh, Dad," says the car's voice; it sounds like a girl of about seventeen. "I saw it on the GPS when we came into town but I didn't think to.... um. Dad? Where did the new person come from?"

"Sorry, Ecto. The store door took me to Milliways. This is Jhalak. Jhalak, this is my daughter Ecto."

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"Jhalak." "Ecto." "This is my daughter Ecto." "The store door took me to Milliways." "Sorry, Ecto." "Ecto." "Jhalak." "Jhalak." "Ecto." "That's right."



"Kiwifruits?" adds short(arm) hopefully.

[gone_byebye]

"Hi, Jhalak!" says Ecto cheerfully. "I don't have any kiwifruits, but I think I've got some fruit roll-ups in my glove compartment- would that be okay?"

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"Fruit roll-ups." "Would that be okay?" "Okay." "In my glove compartment." "I don't have any kiwifruits." "Fruit roll-ups." "Roll-ups." "Fruit." "Okay." "That's right." "Hi, Jhalak!"

...just take that as a yes.

[gone_byebye]

"... is she sentient?" asks Ecto, even as one robotic arm snakes out from under the passenger side door, rummages through the glove compartment, and then comes up with a handful of snack packages.

Ray starts peeling them open and passing them to Jhalak. "I think so," he says. "She's in the process of acquiring language, though. I detected some low-level PKE emissions in the same spectrum as some of Joey's telepathic capabilities when I scanned her at the Bar."

"Oh, okay."

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Om nom nom.

"I think so." "Is she sentient?" "I detected some low-level PKE emissions in the same spectrum as some of Joey's telepathic capabilities when I scanned her at the Bar." "Acquiring language." "Kiwifruits!" "Fruit roll-ups." "Kiwifruits?" "Kiwifruits." "That's right." "Fruit roll-ups." "Kiwifruits." "Kiwifruit roll-ups?"

[gone_byebye]

"Somebody's hungry," Ecto comments. "There's a farmer's market five miles down the road. Wanna see if they have kiwifruits there?"

"Any kind of fruit'll do," Ray says as the driver's side door opens. "Kiwifruits just made it into Jhalak's vocabulary first. Let's go- hey, what was so important that you had to transform in the parking lot?"

"Oh! Oh, I almost forgot- I'm sorry. Uh, Uncle Peter called. He says the State Department called. Somebody on the West Coast needs the Ambassador-at-Large."

Ray blinks at that a few times.

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"Made it into Jhalak's vocabulary first." "Let's go." "Any kind of fruit'll do." "That's right." "Hey, what was so important that you had to transform in the parking lot?" "Kiwifruits!"

--it's possible Jhalak just told its first joke. Intentionally or unintentionally.

[gone_byebye]

Ray laughs and reaches up to pat the little alien. "We'll be there soon, I promise," he says. "This is farm country. You're going to like the choices here. Ecto? Is there more information than that?"

"Yeah, I got Uncle Peter to send me a fax," the car says. "The cops in Port St. Helena, Oregon, found two guys tied up in a cove that the local drug dealers tend to use. Somebody'd caught 'em and roughed 'em up pretty badly, then tied them up with kelp. When they picked the guys up off the sand there was a rock underneath them that somebody'd engraved with the words 'The Great Lemurian Empire requests the human ambassador's presence. Accept these in good faith.'."

"... ya-huh," says Ray, expression simultaneously thoughtful and disturbed. "And they didn't think this was a practical joke?"

"Not once they brought the kelp to the Port St. Helena Marine Science Center," says Ecto. "Turns out it's from a species that only grows in really deep Pacific waters off the coast of Asia."

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"We'll be there soon, I promise." "And they didn't think this was a practical joke?" "You're going to like the choices here." "Is there more information than that?" "This is farm country." "That's right." "Kiwifruits!"

[gone_byebye]

"All right, I'll read up on it when we get home," Ray says. "Hey, Jhalak? Think you'll be okay with a cross-country trip?"

"You're gonna bring her with you?" says Ecto.

"Well, I don't feel right leaving her behind," Ray says, "and I don't know how to return her to her people. She might as well stay with me for this. Who knows, her presence might be useful."

"You're gonna go see a totally new species' representatives and you're gonna bring- oooooh. Okay. That makes sense," says Ecto. "I didn't even think of that."

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"Jhalak." "Cross-country trip." "Okay." "I don't feel right leaving her behind." "Who knows, her presence might be useful." "That's right."



Beat.



"Kiwifruits?"

Short(arm) never gives up, does it.

[gone_byebye]

"Up ahead and on the left, kiddo," Ray says to Jhalak. "Here we go. One farmer's market full of fruits, coming right up."

The place is bustling at this time of day, and at this time of year the selection is pretty excellent. Ray does, however, take the precaution of pulling on a baseball cap with the Ghostbusters logo. People tend to be a little less spastic about weirdness when they realize he's being paid to deal with it.

"All righty! Hang on tight, Jhalak, we're gonna get you some fruit."

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"Kiwifruits!" "Kiwifruits!" "Hang on tight!" "All righty!" "We're gonna get you somr fruit." "Kiwifruits!" "That's right!"

Jhalak sounds cheerful, insofar as Jhalak ever sounds anything.

[gone_byebye]

Those poor, poor farmers are never gonna know what hit 'em, are they.