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[gone_byebye]

The Gozer worshippers- Stanley, Gladys, their grandson, the handful of other people- are staring at the Ghostbusters. Finally, Stanley clears his throat. "What do you mean, 'someone beat Gozer to the punch'?"

"I mean exactly what I said, Mr. Wolcott," says Egon. There's a peculiar gleam in his eye. "One of the most powerful, if not the most powerful, of the Great Old Ones capable of manifesting on Earth just awoke in the South Pacific."

"And judging from the fact that the Waller Protocols didn't work he's already survived at least one direct nuclear strike," Ray adds. "Which means that not only is he physically manifest, he's physically manifest, angry, and radioactive."

Stanley and Gladys eye the Ghostbusters, then turn to their own group. After a moment, Gladys says, "Just how dangerous is this Cthulhu fellow, anyway?"

"They used a nuclear weapon on him," Winston points out. "You don't think that's enough?"

"And you boys run around with those nuclear zap machines," Gladys points out. "I read that Discover article on your gear way back when. You four fellows are just as dangerous."

"I'm flattered, really," says Peter. "Seriously, though, this Cthulhu guy is bad news. Really bad news."

"Frankly, ma'am, he makes your god look like Little Mary Sunshine by comparison," Ray says. "I've spent a good quarter of a century studying up on Cthulhu lore and believe me, there is nothing like him in the annals of recorded theology in anybody's religion."

"Mostly because anybody human who encounters him for long enough goes too completely and irrevocably insane to record it," Egon adds. "The level of destruction and madness Cthulhu brings to everything around him without even taking action is unprecedented in human history-"

"So he'd be doing Gozer's work for him, then?"

Comments

[facile-fivefold.livejournal.com]

Jhalak is having what sounds like a muttered argument with itself.

"Gozer wants to destroy world." "Cthulhu wants to destroy world." "Ray in world." "Conflict." "Jhalak in world." "Egon and Winston and Peter and Ecto in world." "Lots of people in world." "More than six billion people." "Big conflict."

Its voice gets a little louder as it starts debating in more esoteric terms.

"Gozer wants to destroy--" "--Cthulhu wants to destroy--" "Gozer and Cthulhu are allies?" "Cthulhu 'beat Gozer to the punch'; phrasing implies independent agenda." "What are criteria to determine alliance of world-destroying gods?" "Ask Ray." "Somebody just did."

Nevertheless: "Ray, are Gozer and Cthulhu allies?"

Its syntax is improving.

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"Just what the dickens is that thing, anyway?" someone among the Gozer worshippers mutters.

Ray ignores the question. "Not to my knowledge, Jhalak. Cthulhu isn't really anybody's ally, except in that he's the being capable of gating in the other Great Old Ones so that all of them and their servitor races can overrun the Earth."

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"Jhalak is Jotok," it replies. Helpfully, "Read more science fiction."

It flexes the digits of one hand and adds, "Cthulhu and Gozer are not allies. Both want to destroy world. Conflict?"

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Stanley frowns a little, but nods. "I see," he says. "So this Cthulhu fellow is-"

"Not so much going to destroy humanity as plunge it into an era of chaos and madness that it'll never recover from and never be able to end."

Gladys' expression goes grim at that. "Excuse us, won't you, boys?" she asks. "I believe it's time for our huddle now."

As the Gozer worshippers cluster together to start discussing the problem, Peter turns to Ray. "Question," he says. "Just how bad are we looking at here if Cthulhu gets loose?"

"You saw Event Horizon, right, Peter?"

"The Sam Neill movie with all the torn out eyeballs?"

"Right. Do you remember the tape of what happened on board that ship when it went through the unknown dimension and came out the other side?"

"With the arm all the way up that guy's-"

"Yes, and what they were doing to that one female crewmember. That part? That part's cake next to the time of Cthulhu and the Great Old Ones."

"Yfgh." Peter looks more than a little ill. "So what you're saying is, we've gotta figure out how to beat both these guys before everybody winds up human jerky."

"I don't know, Peter," says Winston suddenly, looking thoughtful.

All three Ghostbusters turn and look at Winston.

"What'd they say in that game of yours, Ray?" says Winston. "You don't have to outrun the dragon, you just have to outrun the halfling?"

"...oh, you're not serious."

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"Outrun halfling is metaphor? Explain?"

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"It means that when there's a massive threat, you don't necessarily have to defeat or escape the massive threat," Ray says. "You just have to beat whatever its most likely prey is going to be. We're not sacrificing anybody to the Great Old One just to get away, Winston."

"No, no, not that- I got it wrong," says Winston. "Sorry, man. What I meant was, we beat Gozer once. You beat Cthulhu in that crazy animated universe-"

"Only because we had help from an invocation of Nodens," Ray points out.

"Yeah, so- what I'm saying is, think you could beat Cthulhu again if we convinced Gozer to help us kick his ass?"

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"Gozer and Cthulhu not allies." "Conflict." "Big conflict." "Winston has good logic."

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"It's a great idea, Winston," says Peter, "but how do you propose we get Gozer to listen to the four guys who sent him packing five years ago?"

"Well, we are standing in the middle of a large concentration of his greatest worshippers," Egon points out. "And I for one don't currently have any kind of alternative whatsoever."

"Great. Okay. Just great." Peter offers a smile, however unconvincing it might be. "So we get the crazy people to set Mr. Stay-Puft up against the Great Old Ones."

"It's not going to be Mr. Stay-Puft, Peter," Egon murmurs. "Gozer assumes a different form every time he manifests."

"What?"

"You weren't there when we interviewed the original Keymaster in Louis Tully's body," Egon says. "He mentioned several prior incarnations of Gozer and it was very, very clear another form was chosen each time. Ray, I don't like the look I'm seeing on your face. What are you thinking?"

"Huh? Oh- sorry, Egon," says Ray, shaking his head rapidly. "I was trying to think of somebody who actually stood a chance against Cthulhu."

"Because we all know how successful your thinking was last time."

"I'm serious, Peter. I think we might have a viable candidate, if I can present it to the Gozer worshippers..."

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Jhalak lifts one arm to focus an eye on the nearest such person.

"Listen to Ray," it suggests. "Ray has a good idea."

[gone_byebye]

"Hmm?" The Gozer worshippers break their huddle and turn towards the Ghosbusters. Gladys scowls a little, but Stanley says, "Make it quick, and don't try pulling anything underhanded."

"Sir, believe me, I understand where you're coming from," Ray says. "I can't believe I'm participating in this kind of speculation either, but let's be honest here. Cthulhu is currently rampaging somewhere in the Pacific Ocean on his way to deprive Gozer of a chance to destroy all humanity as we currently know it. We don't have a prayer of defeating him without assistance, and frankly, the only assistance we have even a chance of counting on right now is, well, Big G himself. In the proper form, of course."

"Which I assume is one you people can easily defeat when it's all done?" says Gladys sardonically.

"Ma'am, I wish I could say I was thinking that far ahead, but right now the critical matter is avoiding the destruction of reality. We can worry about enmity and thwarting your goals later, which is why I'd like to suggest the form of an entity I, personally, can vouch for the sheer destructiveness and virtual unstoppability of."

Stanley made a suspicious noise, but eventually said, "Let's hear it."

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"Let's hear it," Jhalak echoes.