A trail of aching derrières- next time they'll be more thoughtful

[gone_byebye]

The door opens onto an expanse of asphalt, steel, and glass. Nearby a sign reads:

WELCOME TO WHITE FLINT MALL
BEST PRICES IN THE DC AREA

4708 BETHESDA AVENUE
CHEVY CHASE, MD

It's a big parking lot, with the mall itself only visible off in the distance. Ray gives it the squint-eye before turning to the others. "Okay, people," he says. "This is it. Johnny says it's underground. Egon's best estimates indicate three miles down. Are we good?"

Comments

[wyrd-fox.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it's damn good to be a spirit...or half spirit as the case may be. It comes in real handy when you've got to get from point A to point B in a hurry and there's rather solid points C through M in the way.

FX and Danny sped through the halls and walls (with one pause to salute a wandering computer type who immediately recognized and fanboyed Morden-Fox). The kitsune held up one hand as they neared a certain room. The door read Security Briefing and there was sounds of people hurredly strapping on weaponry inside.

"Hey, Danny," FX whispered. "Wanna be a movie legend?"

[goinghost.livejournal.com]

"...Yes please," Danny said, with geekish enthusiasm. "As long as it's something that'll make them wet themselves."

[wyrd-fox.livejournal.com]

Foxtrot laughs and waggles his fingers at him.

"Bibbity-bobbity-BOO!"

He casts an illusion over Danny...one of a Predator. Yes, the movie Predator type Predator. Capital P, double jaws and dreadlocks from hell.

"And...just for giggles," FX says. Then, instead of a human, there's a black-carapaced creature known to sci-fi and horror geeks the world over. "Shall we?" he asks, holding up one clawed hand.

There is few things more surreal than an Alien high-fiveing a Predator.

[goinghost.livejournal.com]

There was mid-air high-fiving.

Few things were nearly as cool.

"Aww man, perfect. I spent most of my detentions in fifth grade practicing the hiss, even."

And thus, the two made their way up the hall in a living version of what was possibly the geekiest office joke ever.

[gone_byebye]

Now, the thing about an office setup like this is that sooner or later someone is going to realize that an entire level's gone off the grid. And, you know, sooner or later the security teams are going to start charging through the halls, zap-guns and all, kicking open doors and sweeping the rooms for-

"GAH."

-well, not for those two JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE THINGS?????

[wyrd-fox.livejournal.com]

You are faced with a highly-armed security team from an organization whose moral code likely includes the old "shoot first, ask questions later" philosophy.

However, you are a spirit with highly refined powers of illusion.

You are also disguised as an acid-blooded Alien.

FX really has no choice. He makes a distinctive, hissing scream which sends his internal jaw out to snap at them...then leaps forward, claws slashing.

In another universe, James Cameron wakes from an uneasy nightmare.

[goinghost.livejournal.com]

There were a few soldiers with the soda they drank for lunch trickling down their legs.

Danny lunged, launched by his flight, towards them, making a loud, rumbling hissing sound.

He was having the time of his LIFE.

[gone_byebye]

The hallllllllllls are aliiiiiiiiiiiiive... with the sound of screeeeeeeeeeeamiiiiiiiiiing...

... yeah, nobody pays the security team enough for this. There's like two members willing to hold their ground and try and fire on the extradimensional entities.

Possibly they should be thinking of calling this in on the radio, but it's not like anyone would hear them over the cries of "SWEET FREAKIN' JALAPENA!" anyway.

[wyrd-fox.livejournal.com]

It's so hard to find good help these days. But FX isn't complaining. The more that run, the fewer will realize that, although the bullets can't hurt him, he can't physically hurt them.

But a good bluff can go a long way. He lands on the floor right in front of one of the hold-outs. The officer's frantic gunfire doesn't have any affect on the monster, but he's a little too stressed to realize that the bullets are passing through the creature without resistance. The Alien rears up to his full height, acidic drool dripping from its jaws to etch the floor beneath him. One spidery, clawed hand slowly draws back for what would surely be a decapitating blow...

...too much for the poor guy. He passes right out.

Underneath the unearthly shrieking, there is a bit of a snicker.

Good, clean, chaotic fun, Foxtrot projects to Danny.

[goinghost.livejournal.com]

Danny could be solid, even if the illusion wasn't. Not that he was at first--intangibility was a major plus, but when he got up to that last man, the poor guy was privy to a predator saying in a teenage boy's cracking voice, "Sorry, dude."

WHAMMO went Danny's fist.

"I love beating up government guys."

[wyrd-fox.livejournal.com]

The Alien-Kitsune laughs.

"They generally have it comin'," he says.

Now the Alien is wearing a traditional, English, fox-hunting coat. "The game's afoot! Release the hounds!"

With that, he goes flying down the hall after the rest of the team.

[goinghost.livejournal.com]

"I think it's more bowling than hunting. They all look like heavily armored pins to me," joked Danny.

[gone_byebye]

An auburn-haired woman who looked as if she would've been Dana Scully had the gods been a little nicer to her poked her head out one of the doors. She caught one glimpse of the monstrosities and retreated, but a reasonably good ear could hear her yelling into the telephone, "Sir? SIR! WE HAVE COMPANY!" Down the hall a sallow-skinned man with curly grey hair and thick round glasses also peered into the hallway, but he screamed like a Malfoy and fell over in a dead faint.

And down a little bit further than that...

"What the hell is going on here?" shouted a voice familiar to anyone who ever watched Ivan Reitman's 1984 opus.

[wyrd-fox.livejournal.com]

Foxtrot pauses in his headlong pursuit. And raises one claw to where ears would be on a humanoid individual.

"Hark! I do believe I hear the belligerent bellow of a certain dickless wonder!"

Both sets of chitinous jaws grinned viciously. "Shall we go say hi?"

[goinghost.livejournal.com]

"Can a punch in the face mean 'hi'?" Danny asked hopefully.

[wyrd-fox.livejournal.com]

"That's more of a 'how ya' doin'?'" FX laughs. "I'd say a kick to the 'nads would be more along the lines of a 'hi'."

A pimplely, programmer type has the poor fortune to stumble into the hall just in time to hear him say that last bit. One thing he did not need to see or hear was two, terrifying creatures discussing genital trauma as a universal greeting. He pales. When the pair turns to look at him, he squeals, covers his groin and flees in the other direction.

[gone_byebye]

The squealing is grounds for a door to swing open. "Some of us are in CONFERENCE, people-"

If you thought Walter Peck was pale-skinned naturally, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

"Oh fuck," he mutters at the sight.

[goinghost.livejournal.com]

There's always a brief pause after a statement like that is uttered.

Danny let it pass, then staring at Peck, with perfect timing, he did the hiss.

[wyrd-fox.livejournal.com]

Foxtrot mentally cheers the kid and crouches down tensing for a spring as his jaws open and do the acid-drooling bit again.

A familiar voice seems to whisper in Peck's ear.

"I told you my associates were quite capable of exacting justice all on their own."

If he looks left, there will be a hand-tall Mr. Morden perched on his shoulder.

[gone_byebye]

Peck's eyeballs slide all the way over to the left as far as they can manage before he has to turn his head.

Then- because he is sensible, at least in matters pertaining to his own continued survival- he doesn't even waste his time with shrieking. He just turns and bolts.

[goinghost.livejournal.com]

"Take the illusion off--I've got something scarier," Danny said to FX, starting their merry chase. As soon as the illusion was off, Danny disappeared through the floor.

...And reappeared right in front of Peck.

Then he multiplied, only...it didn't come out so good.



One the heads leaned forward, inches away from Peck's face.

"Boo."

[wyrd-fox.livejournal.com]

FX, for his part, shifts form to a fox the size of a shetland pony for his pursuit.

But he skids to a stop when Danny pulls that little stunt.

"Ewwwww!"

[gone_byebye]

o___O

Wow.

His brain done broke.

[goinghost.livejournal.com]

All of the faces smirked and there was a shploooort as the myriad of body parts retracted into one Danny again.

[wyrd-fox.livejournal.com]

Peck's brain had better put itself back together quickly. Behind him, a bark of laughter slides into a deep, gloating growl.